Why is it that when you tell me constantly how much you love me
I feel as if you are only doing so to keep me here?
How am I supposed to find meaning underneath the notion that you believe I would just leave, and the idea of doing so seems better as the days go by
I would feel so terrible leaving you, so terrible at the thought of hurting you, and I know I would miss you, but
I feel like I’m being forced, I feel suffocated all the time, and most of the time you’re not even there.
I pretend like the doubt has just lifted, and everything is well, despite the fact that every night that goes by I wonder how long this will last,
Do I even want it to last?
Fuck this I need to smoke and watch Ferngully 2